Warrior
Brandy Dillon lost a part of herself. And she's finding that life Part 2 is a whole new adventure.
Story by AMANDA BEDGOODPhotos by PENNY MOORE
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Brandy Dillon’s eyes have a rare quality. In them there is a sense of absolute hope. When she speaks there is an immediate sense of resolve. A kind of fight until your knuckles are bleeding determination.And perhaps even more surprising is that with that comes a kind of gentleness and peace. It’s a startling combination of qualities that you wonder whether she had before it happened. Before everything changed. Before her body was ravaged. Before her steady American-dream existence fell into tiny little pieces.But, Brandy Dillon doesn’t live in a world of befores and afters – she lives here and she lives in the future. It’s a future that carries the promise of more independence and surely great challenges. They are challenges she’s sure to face with those hopeful eyes, gentle smile and fearless determination.
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October 20, 2008, Brandy Dillon gave birth to her second child, son Isaiah. Isaiah came four days after his due date and after a natural birth Brandy was discharged within two days with a fever and heavy bleeding.“That was a terrible restless night,” Brandy says shaking her head. “I had numbness in my fingers and toes.”Brandy slipped into a hot bath to relieve her troubled body.“My whole right hip went numb,” she remembers. “I said take me to the ER. Something is not right.”Her stomach was in excruciating pain and her fingers and feet were blue. Her sister picked her up and they headed to the hospital.“The last thing I remember they called my OB and would be doing exploratory surgery,” Brandy says.She awoke a week and a half later on a ventilator. Those days she doesn’t remember were agony for her family members who were told if she made it the first 24 hours it would be a miracle. When Brandy awoke she was told things didn’t look good.“The nurse kept saying you are very sick. They said you’re very sick, the baby is fine,” Brandy says and smiles remembering how thrilled she was to hear her new son was still healthy.Brandy’s extremities were wrapped for the most part, but she could see a black shriveled finger extending from her hand.A strep infection led to Toxic Shock Syndrome during that week and a half leading to gangrene while Brandy’s organs began to shut down. To date, no one knows the hows or whys of Brandy contracting the infection.“They had to stop the infection from spreading,” she says. “Without amputation it could continue spreading.”Doctors asked her husband to sign the papers to remove Brandy’s fingers on her right hand, her entire left hand and both legs below the knee.“He thought I’d be mad he signed the papers,” Brandy says.Only later did her husband learn doctors had actually spoken to Brandy as well about the amputation. She calmly explains that she prayed about the amputations and a verse came to mind.“He will cut off anything that does not bear fruit,” Brandy says as though it’s a simple explanation. “There was no feeling or very very faint. We agreed to amputation.”There were moments after the amputation that Brandy had to ask why. Up to this point life had been good.
At the young age of 29 Brandy was married to her college sweetheart, had two children, a job she loved, a house and it seemed she had it all together. Brandy and Donnie met at Southern University in the psychology department and together were raising his son Deonte, 12, and their 6-year-old daughter Kara-Lynn.Donnie was a counselor for adolescent sex offenders. Brandy was a counselor at Stuller Place for victims of sexual abuse for several years and while pregnant moved to Hospice and counseled people with little time left to live and their families. It’s a career Brandy is passionate about and she knows prepared her for what she’s facing now.“I wanted to help people,” Brandy says. “I want them to be the best they can. No matter their situation it can be better. If you deserve more – you can have more.”Brandy’s first taste of success in helping people make those changes was her very first case and she still remembers it fondly. A 16-year-old girl who was a cutter.“Her father was the perpetrator. I didn’t know what to do with her. To help someone really make changes – how do you do that?”Brandy prayed for her, she discovered the girl was a great journalist, wrote poems. Brandy used her love of art and self-expression to help the girl flourish over time.“She no longer cuts and now she’s married, she had a baby,” Brandy says proudly.The girl and her mother gave Brandy a wind chime that reads, “Every day is a new beginning.” And it feels truer now more than ever.“No matter what you’ve faced, with each day is a new positive beginning,” Brandy says.
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There’s no doubt Brandy’s youth and attitude are helping her recovery. Following the amputation Brandy decided prosthetics were the best option. She did not want to be in a wheelchair. But, it would take time for her to live with prosthetics.While Brandy waited for prosthetics she headed home for a month in a wheelchair. It was then that Brandy saw the kind of man she married. Donnie had to care for her every need. He bathed her, paid all the bills, made every decision for the household. Brushed Kara-Lynn’s hair.“I would just cry when he bathed me because I didn’t like my body or want him to have to do that,” she recalls.It was a feeling of helplessness that is hard to understand. And the dynamic between Brandy and Donnie began to mimic the relationships she had seen while working with Hospice where often spouses find themselves in a caregiver role.“He’s done so many things that any man would choose not to do if they had the choice,” Brandy says.“You say those vows – ‘for better or worse, in sickness and in health.’ But when it hits – it can be draining.”Brandy says she is mindful that what happened didn’t happen to her.“It happened to us,” she says firmly.After a month at home Brandy was ready to be fitted for her prosthetics and go to rehabilitation. She moved to Lafayette Physical Rehab full time for several months.Family stayed with her almost every night while she was there. But, for the first time her family felt comfortable leaving her alone at least part of the time. “Donnie wrote ‘Take care of my wife’ on the wipey board in my room,” Brandy remembers with a smile.By January 20 Brandy was back home with her new legs and prosthetic hand and a resolve to get back her life, hold her child, pick up a telephone and feed herself. Her goal was to walk by June.“I’ve exceeded that,” she says with a grin. “The doctors say how fast I’m healing and I’m going and it’s God – He knows I have things to do.”Brandy says she thanks God for all He has left her with – a healthy child despite the likelihood she had the infection during her pregnancy, her family and her right mind.“What happened happened and I can go on and do what I need to do,” she says. But, Brandy is only human. There are hard days. Days when the grief of her loss must show on her face. It is on these days Kara-Lynn sees the emotional struggle.“She says ‘You’re sad. It’s because you want your legs back?’” Tears fill Brandy’s eyes. “She is very resilient and helps a lot.”She longs for the times she could hop in the car with her kids and head to the park. But, Brandy is confident those days are not far away. She’s already come so far.The two partial fingers on her right hand are proving more useful than she could ever have imagined. After the amputation she wondered why the doctors would leave such a small portion of finger. After all, she couldn’t use them because she couldn’t move them. Thanks to her rehab, which she continues now and will for months, she has a tremendous amount of movement in them allowing her to pick up a phone, do the things that we all take for granted and most importantly to hold her son. She could barely put him down once she was able to hold him in her arms.“When you think your situation is bad – I look at others who have it worse. Some people go through this alone. They don’t have a spouse,” she says.And Brandy points heavenward for her greatest support.“My biggest thing is that I have God in my life. I would’ve lost my mind without that. I would’ve lost my mind. He’d send someone to help when I need it, to make me smile, to pray with me.”For Brandy, motivation is not an option; it’s a way of life. It’s a process to learn to trust her prosthetic legs and difficult still to do a lot of mundane things. Once she takes off the prosthetics to sleep she is virtually helpless again.“I have to get up and put on my legs just to go warm a bottle.”But, Brandy preservers. “If I start to lose hope it’ll be bad. I will not get back in that wheelchair.”Spend much time with Brandy and you see a lot of smiling and you see that light in her eyes. It doesn’t go unnoticed Brandy says. When hospital staff head into her room for the first time only having read her chart they’re often shocked to find smiling Brandy. “They read my chart and see that I’m so young and don’t know what to expect.”What they find is no anger or bitterness. But, a woman who feels blessed to wake each day with a family who is healthy and loves her and a perspective that’s rarely found in someone facing half her struggles.“As long as I can wake up to see this new day I think God’s mercies are new. It helps me be a better person. Helps me help the next person.”
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Wow, what an inspiration!
