Yuckiness!

I first need to apologize for not updating when I got the results from my bone marrow biopsy. This week has been seriously yucky to put it lightly. Anyways, my bone marrow came back 100% clear!!! This is such an awesome answer to prayers. I will have to do a minimum of one more biopsy at the end just to make sure, but just to know now that God has cleared my bone marrow is so great. My week started yucky in the hospital just being stuck in that little room. Also, my bed didn't work properly. They are supposed to air up and down to help with pain and bed sores. Mine never worked and they didn't change it out until Thursday night. Needless to say, I was in pain a lot. I tried to get up and walk around, but between the chemo, blood transfusions, and lumbar puncture, we had to time it just right.

Anyways, I was released on Friday around noon. They had to speed up my last bag of chemo to get me out of there, but by that point, I didn't care what they had to do...just get me out of there. I've been very weak, but determined to get up and try because we are wanting to go out of town this weekend for the Fourth of July so I can get out of these walls and I can see some of my extended family which I haven't seen since our wedding. Well, it hasn't been easy. I felt very weak and kind of icky most of the weekend and it has been VERY emotional for me...and depressing. There just really isn't any other word for it. I have had a very hard time expressing why I am depressed other than the fact that I truly feel that God has healed me completely and I feel as though I am doing my body more harm by pumping all these drugs in it. This is just me and I am not going to refuse treatment. Please don't get me wrong. I am trying to get through this. I spoke to my doctor about it and apparently, this depression is normal and she even made the statement that she was wondering when I was going to hit it. Hopefully this weekend will help.

Saturday night, or early Sunday morning, I woke up and was having difficulty breathing. It took about an hour for me to catch my breath. This also happened in the hospital and I believe it is just extra fluid built up in my body. I was finally able to relax again, but Sunday and Monday night, the insomnia hit again. It is amazing all the things you can learn from infomercials in the middle of the night. I now know how to have the perfect skin, if that doesn't work, I know what make-up will make it look like I have perfect skin, the perfect hair, I can get the perfect body by learning and doing the newest and greatest dance moves and in my spare time, I can order the perfect cookware, and can become a master chef. Aren't you all jealous?!?! I'm so glad we pay for satellite tv where there are 600 channels so I can always have something to watch. Well, not sleeping did not help much with my weakness and pain, so my legs and back were cramping like crazy again. Even hydrocodone did nothing for me.

On Tuesday, I had to go in for my lumbar puncture. They doped me up pretty good and she went to work. Unfortunately, after having 5 of these, scar tissue has built up on my spinal column, so it is difficult for her to get through. After a few tries, she decided to send me to the hospital so the radiologist could do it with his magic machine that shows him exactly where to go. I didn't think this would be a big deal until we hit admissions. The admit clerk kept calling around telling everyone I was there for a shot. She wouldn't read the orders and wouldn't listen to us. Finally, about an hour later, they figured out where I was supposed to go and I was all slumped over in a wheelchair (remember, I was drugged!). A nurse found me and let me lay down. I pretty much slept all that medicine off. I layed there for so long before they finally took me back. Before they did, they gave me vicodine. The procedure itself wasn't too bad because of his little magic machine. I slept for about 2 1/2 hours afterwards. I'm supposed to be flat on my back for 4 hours afterwards, but they were ready to get out of there. They made me drink a coke and go to the bathroom and off I went. I hadn't eaten anything all day except two crackers. I got home and we had dinner delivered from our Sunday School class and it was delicious (the first thing that tasted good all week!). I layed on the couch for a little while and then it hit. The ICKY feeling. I made it to the bedroom and needless to say, I got to taste my wonderful dinner again. I threw up all night long. I am pretty sure this is from not laying flat for 4 hours. My doctor said it was one of the side effects, so I promise it had nothing to do with the great dinner!! My dear sweet mother-in-law to the rescue. She was there at first...well, you know. She had a wet washcloth on my neck and face the entire time and she checked on me all night. Thank you so much for being there. Whenever you are sick, you always want your momma, I'm glad I have two wonderful ones to be there for me!

Wednesday (today), I went in to the doctor for a little chemo. It was about 30 minutes long. She gave me some nausea medicine to help with the after effects of last night and it kind of helped. Rob got up first thing this morning and got me a coke icee to help too. For lunch today, we went to Catfish King since I have been craving fish for quite some time. I've been scared to eat it because I didn't know what it would taste like, but it was delicious. I was so excited I think I over ate. The rest of the day has been good, just weak. I get worn out very easily.

Thank you for all the prayers and patience in reading my long blog. I just want everyone to know what I am going through. For a specific prayer for me, please pray that my platelet count stays up so I won't have to travel 2 hours while on vacation to get a platelet transfusion. I have a few more prayer requests for all of my prayer warriors. As bad as I feel it is for me, I'm not the only one going through rough times:

Laura- a sweet friend of mine had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby. Laura, I love you and am praying for you and your family!!

Jessica- a daughter of a prayer warrior and friend of the family miscarried her twins. I can not imagine losing a child. You and your family are in our prayers.

Ashley- my little "sister"- she is in the hospital on bed rest in preterm labor. Please pray her contractions stop as it is too early for little Eli to come and join us. I also want her to be able to go home and not have to spend the rest of her pregnancy in the hospital. I love you Ashley and your whole family. Please pray for her mom & dad as they help take care of her, her sweet husband Tim and her other son Evan as I am sure he is trying to figure out where mommy is spending all her time.

Grandma- (see last blog). This is actually Ashley's grandma, so this is added to her family. She is in rehab and from what I understand, doing well. She still has a ways to go. If I got that wrong, I am sorry, but God knows what Grandma needs so please lift her up!

Sully Farrar- a little boy with Leukemia that I have grown to love. He is back in St. Jude's and needs our prayers. http://www.sullivanfarrar.com/

Angie- my former Sunday School teacher. She had her procedure and is in the laying still mode. She has said she has felt some relief, but she still has a ways to go. Please continue to lift her up.

I know this is a lot, but I have been blessed with so many friends and family as my prayer warriors, that I can not just sit by with these prayer requests here and so many of you out there willing to pray. Again, Rob and I are so excited to see where God uses this obstacle in our lives. We have already been blessed by all of you and others who happen upon our blog or hear about us through friends of friends. Each one of you are so special!!! Always remember...

With God, WE WILL BEAT THIS!!!